Thursday, April 29, 2010


Random post...

Here we go again, back to the surgery debacle where the meds which control my leg spasms were at least cut in half due to whatever. And what followed was pretty much hell. For anyone who has had leg spasms, they hurt. They go away by standing / moving. When I couldn't do those things, I was in trouble. When I couldn't get my medicine which blocks the cramps a bit, I told the poor nurse, "well, this is going to be one hell of a night." And it was. I got back on all my medicines. I got to start walking again. But still, I had spasms in the morning (uncommon for me) and spasms in the afternoon (somewhat uncommon for me).

Enter acupuncture! I started this years ago and am not someone to believe in alternative medicine. Back then, I had afternoon spasms and would sit in meetings, hoping they would hold off. But acupuncture worked for those - they went away. I was still left with evening/night spasms, so if I go anywhere anytime past about 4, it's common to see my rip off my leg brace, move my leg around, massage my foot, etc. I imagine it's quite a site! But I can handle that. I just can't handle painful spasms that cause my legs to try to jump to the ceiling, all day.

Yesterday I went back to acupuncture, because just being back on my medicines clearly wasn't enough. This should have been filmed. Normally, these tiny needles are stuck in my feet and legs, and my feet and legs remain calm. But this time, touching my foot caused it to jump. Getting needles in the legs made them jump and convulse all over the place. And then I was left, needles in legs, for about 30 minutes. During this time, I watched legs alternate convulsing, back and forth, sometimes simultaneously. It seemed like pulling the devil out of the legs, or some stange medieval torture mechanism. And then I went home, completely exhausted.

And this morning? No spasms. I don't get how that worked. I love western medicine trying to explain eastern medicine. I try to have my acupuncturist explain eastern medicine to me and it makes sense, but I don't really get it. But I do get that, for me, it works. It doesn't solve MS - it doesn't make me walk any better. But it does make life liveable. And that is what I want.

So where does God play into all of this? Somewhere - I have no idea. Perhaps that whole "suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint." Hope can be seen in so many ways - now, a bit later, much later that I'll never know. But perhaps here, hope didn't disappoint. Scripture - read so many different ways at different times.

Thanks be to God for hope.

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