Today I decided to take the day off of work. Last week I had an MS exacerbation so I could hardly stand up in the end. When I look back, I always think, "How could I not see that coming?" Life is so busy, so stressful, and it's summer and hot (15 days in a row so far in the 90s in Denver). So when I look back I see me trying to compete with the heat. I see me getting my daughter going to Kindergarten and the stress in that itself, but also in the change of schedule and the energy it has demanded. I see that my cat got very sick and I've been taking her to the vet--now giving her fluids under the skin and watching to see how she does. And then I see work--a new job which is nice. But there is, it seems, always one bad egg. This time it's someone who feels they are teaching me because they think they are the expert. And then I come back to the heat. I was taking naps, one long one, then I went on a bikeride in the heat which killed me, then I kept pushing, so from Sunday to Thursday things went down--loading and unloading the wheelchair again and again in the mid-90s was a bear! Over the weekend, with steroids, things improved. I went to the mountains. I didn't go to church--too hot. I took care of my kitty. I hung out with my husband and daughter (the best part). And today I take a break from work to ease back into things.
I think we, as society, rush around too much. I think, though I haven't been given any official word, that God wants us to stop for a moment, probably many moments, and breathe. I think each time this happens to me, that maybe the next time I won't let everything build--that I will see this all coming. For now, I focus on getting better, letting go especially of the work stuff, welcoming calm and being with my family.
Please God, help me to see this all more clearly next time.
2 comments:
I suspect that God wants me to slow down and appreciate the world around me: the birds, the grass, the breeze that ruffles the porch umbrella, the stars, the peaches. If God doesn't want me to do that, I'm doing it anyway!
I also have MS and believe God wants us to enjoy life, He just wants to put Him first in our lives. Once we do that, everything else falls into place.
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