Today my husband, daughter, and I saw the play "The Miracle Worker." It was about the time from Anne Sullivan's arrival as Helen's teacher, to the time at which Helen understood the meaning of words.
Watching the story unfold, and knowing how accomplished Helen Keller became, it was surprising to see the early struggles, how "Annie" took Helen next door to live so she could isolate her, break through some of Helen's stubbornness, and make progress. Then after a time they returned home and Helen immediately began to regress. But also, right after that, the breakthrough came, she understood the meaning of words--Annie had connected with Helen as a person.
Just looking at the general world, there is a time when things "click" for people--like when a child learns to ride a bike, or even learns to walk. For a person with a disability, it can be different. So as the play ended with Helen "getting it," I was brought to tears. I thought of times, with MS, when I still can learn and "get" things. I thought of skiing, when things were not clicking and then started clicking. I thought a bit of handcycling and how it started to click. And for these activities, there are still barriers to getting further, but things can still click. It's beautiful really, how disability can be "turned on its head." Just beautiful.
Thanks be to God for the beauty of it all.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Mentors
One of my mentors spoke and wrote on his mentors, so I thought I'd write on mine. Here are the mentors who have had the greatest impact on my life, "saints," who have given me the gift of grace.
My mom, my rock, who before I could understand, showed me true love, and then as I grew up, became my best friend--who she still is today.
My coaches. Coach Luckasen, who showed me that if I make a seemingly impossible goal, I CAN achieve it. Coach Gomez, who showed me that I can reach my goals by breaking the big goal into little pieces, conquering each piece, one at a time. Coach Charlie, who helped me to see that I am and will always be an athlete, and who also became a friend with whom I can share tremendous sarcasm, smile, and laughter.
My doctors. Dr. Schermer, who (is making me cry now) looked me so many times directly in the eye with driving compassion, and helped me to continue to believe in myself. Dr. Mulica, who paused to ask if I was ok, who continues to pause when I see him, and who "gets it" with MS, points to my head, and tells me that my mind drives me where I want it to go.
A few pastors. BE Palmer, who was there and prayed for me shortly after I was diagnosed with MS, when I first felt the great presence of God, there, holding me. Pastor Joe, who somehow, some way, brought faith back as an important presence in my life.
And in keeping with the format of the mentor who got me to write this, the Trinity--God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, for helping me to feel that presence, for reaching me a year ago when I was desperate, for showing me peace, for leading me to ask for help when I needed help, and for maintaining that presence.
Thanks be to God.
My mom, my rock, who before I could understand, showed me true love, and then as I grew up, became my best friend--who she still is today.
My coaches. Coach Luckasen, who showed me that if I make a seemingly impossible goal, I CAN achieve it. Coach Gomez, who showed me that I can reach my goals by breaking the big goal into little pieces, conquering each piece, one at a time. Coach Charlie, who helped me to see that I am and will always be an athlete, and who also became a friend with whom I can share tremendous sarcasm, smile, and laughter.
My doctors. Dr. Schermer, who (is making me cry now) looked me so many times directly in the eye with driving compassion, and helped me to continue to believe in myself. Dr. Mulica, who paused to ask if I was ok, who continues to pause when I see him, and who "gets it" with MS, points to my head, and tells me that my mind drives me where I want it to go.
A few pastors. BE Palmer, who was there and prayed for me shortly after I was diagnosed with MS, when I first felt the great presence of God, there, holding me. Pastor Joe, who somehow, some way, brought faith back as an important presence in my life.
And in keeping with the format of the mentor who got me to write this, the Trinity--God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, for helping me to feel that presence, for reaching me a year ago when I was desperate, for showing me peace, for leading me to ask for help when I needed help, and for maintaining that presence.
Thanks be to God.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Giving of time and talents...
The stewardship talk I gave at church on Sunday (or something close to it!)
This week I’m giving a temple talk on time and talents, although do I need to remind you to turn in your envelopes reflecting monetary stewardship?
I was asked to talk about time and talents, how they relate to my faith experience, and how they have been a large part of my life. A bunch of ideas then mulled in my head about how to approach this, what stewardship means, and what I wanted to say.
This week, ideas still churning in my head, I was meeting with a physician collea gue and eyeing all his books. At some point we began talking about various books when all of a sudden one caught my eye: Stewardship. I borrowed it—not religious, but it is from a public service perspective. It says “Stewardship taken seriously is not an economic strategy or a way to achieve higher levels of productivity or to succeed in a marketplace. It is also an answer to the spirit calling out.” I like that.
Stewardship can occur at so many levels—I recall the hardest time of my entire life early last December when I reacted to a drug and was thrown into a deep depression. I remember driving around, picking Lori up from daycare, wondering how I was going to get through that day, and so on. And then I found myself driving to an Advent service at Holy Love. There, for the first time since the reaction started, I found a sense of peace, a sense of pause, and I realized I needed help. To me, stewardship can be that simple--it's about relationships, with God, with this community, in the simple context of coming to church when I am struggling most in life.
First Corinthians says,
"Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone." - 1 Corinthians 12:4-6 [NRSV]
So, for me, thinking further about time and talents (not sure about the talents piece!), I’d include being a lector, assisting minister, and singing in the choir. When I was first a lector long ago (another church in Minnesota), it was just something I wanted to try for no apparent reason. Same with most things I do—I just want to try them. Then I find a sense of passion—when I lector, I think about the scripture more than when I listen to other people reading it—the text seems to mean more. When I read the prayers of the people, the same thing happens. When I sing certain music in the choir, I feel it pretty intensely. If I do not feel the passion, I may not continue to do something.
You have a sheet with possibilities for time and talent stewardship. Please consider choosing to try a couple. You may find a new passion. But more importantly, you will feel the sense of community here, and the community here reaches to broader communities—there are opportunities there too. So I’ll close with the following quote. I love quotes and this one I try to read before bed each night, as a way of reflecting.
“Listen to your life. Pay attention. Observe. That wonderful phrase, "religious observance," means observe religiously. Don't just get through your life, as all of us are inclined to do, on automatic pilot, not much noticing anything. Listen."
Thank you.
This week I’m giving a temple talk on time and talents, although do I need to remind you to turn in your envelopes reflecting monetary stewardship?
I was asked to talk about time and talents, how they relate to my faith experience, and how they have been a large part of my life. A bunch of ideas then mulled in my head about how to approach this, what stewardship means, and what I wanted to say.
This week, ideas still churning in my head, I was meeting with a physician collea gue and eyeing all his books. At some point we began talking about various books when all of a sudden one caught my eye: Stewardship. I borrowed it—not religious, but it is from a public service perspective. It says “Stewardship taken seriously is not an economic strategy or a way to achieve higher levels of productivity or to succeed in a marketplace. It is also an answer to the spirit calling out.” I like that.
Stewardship can occur at so many levels—I recall the hardest time of my entire life early last December when I reacted to a drug and was thrown into a deep depression. I remember driving around, picking Lori up from daycare, wondering how I was going to get through that day, and so on. And then I found myself driving to an Advent service at Holy Love. There, for the first time since the reaction started, I found a sense of peace, a sense of pause, and I realized I needed help. To me, stewardship can be that simple--it's about relationships, with God, with this community, in the simple context of coming to church when I am struggling most in life.
First Corinthians says,
"Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone." - 1 Corinthians 12:4-6 [NRSV]
So, for me, thinking further about time and talents (not sure about the talents piece!), I’d include being a lector, assisting minister, and singing in the choir. When I was first a lector long ago (another church in Minnesota), it was just something I wanted to try for no apparent reason. Same with most things I do—I just want to try them. Then I find a sense of passion—when I lector, I think about the scripture more than when I listen to other people reading it—the text seems to mean more. When I read the prayers of the people, the same thing happens. When I sing certain music in the choir, I feel it pretty intensely. If I do not feel the passion, I may not continue to do something.
You have a sheet with possibilities for time and talent stewardship. Please consider choosing to try a couple. You may find a new passion. But more importantly, you will feel the sense of community here, and the community here reaches to broader communities—there are opportunities there too. So I’ll close with the following quote. I love quotes and this one I try to read before bed each night, as a way of reflecting.
“Listen to your life. Pay attention. Observe. That wonderful phrase, "religious observance," means observe religiously. Don't just get through your life, as all of us are inclined to do, on automatic pilot, not much noticing anything. Listen."
Thank you.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Priceless
Today I picked up my daughter from school. In the car she stated in a distressed tone, "I don't know what I want to do when I grow up! I don't know if I want to be a nurse, or Ariel, or a princess, or an artist, or a child of God."
Oh, to be 5 again! :)
Oh, to be 5 again! :)
Friday, October 24, 2008
Listening and observing life
Listening to life:
I have a 5 year old daughter. The best part of having her is cuddling with her and reading, some she does and most I do. And to hear a 5 year old laugh is so wonderful. Wonderful life.
Today I saw my counselor and she had a great idea. She could get people with DIFFERENT disabilities together to talk not about their diseases, but about managing living, things like how to get through the holidays. That would be so awesome. Interesting life.
So for me to get through what my mom has going on, and how that makes life so much more complex...we talked about that. My mom has started chemo and has still been able to come and help me a bit. I worry about how hard chemo is, and how it depletes a person, and it just seems to stink, and that the whole thing shouldn't be happening to my invincible mom. So what to do? Perhaps pray. Maybe meditate. I haven't figured that out. At other times, I've had this sense that God comes out and says "Hello Beth. I'm here. " I'm still waiting for that. I'm feeling out there and alone. Confusing life.
So I decided with all the recent stress in my life, I should find 15 minutes a day to do some kind of listening exercise, maybe meditating is what I'm thinking. Or reading these short essays. Or listening to music (I dug some up today) I was thinking writing this blog could do it, but then my husband came in to tell me about his big pay increase. Distracting life? :)
But I go back to this book I have, which has an essay by a pastor, who says to Listen. Observe. Observe religioiusly. Don't just go about life, going from one thing to the next. Really listen. God, please help me listen better and show me you are there. I'm hoping there's some glue holding everything together, but it's feeling like pretty weak glue!
I have a 5 year old daughter. The best part of having her is cuddling with her and reading, some she does and most I do. And to hear a 5 year old laugh is so wonderful. Wonderful life.
Today I saw my counselor and she had a great idea. She could get people with DIFFERENT disabilities together to talk not about their diseases, but about managing living, things like how to get through the holidays. That would be so awesome. Interesting life.
So for me to get through what my mom has going on, and how that makes life so much more complex...we talked about that. My mom has started chemo and has still been able to come and help me a bit. I worry about how hard chemo is, and how it depletes a person, and it just seems to stink, and that the whole thing shouldn't be happening to my invincible mom. So what to do? Perhaps pray. Maybe meditate. I haven't figured that out. At other times, I've had this sense that God comes out and says "Hello Beth. I'm here. " I'm still waiting for that. I'm feeling out there and alone. Confusing life.
So I decided with all the recent stress in my life, I should find 15 minutes a day to do some kind of listening exercise, maybe meditating is what I'm thinking. Or reading these short essays. Or listening to music (I dug some up today) I was thinking writing this blog could do it, but then my husband came in to tell me about his big pay increase. Distracting life? :)
But I go back to this book I have, which has an essay by a pastor, who says to Listen. Observe. Observe religioiusly. Don't just go about life, going from one thing to the next. Really listen. God, please help me listen better and show me you are there. I'm hoping there's some glue holding everything together, but it's feeling like pretty weak glue!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
To ask, to observe, to help
A friend and I have been corresponding back and forth and realize that we have a problem! We both have MS--lately she's had some financial difficulties stemming from her MS while I've had some physical difficulties stemming from my MS.
So apparently we each go through this thought process in terms of asking for help. Who should I ask? Am I bothering themz? Is this going to work if I do ask? Will thy think I'm a slacker? Well, what the heck--why doesn't anyone notice I'm struggling? Why doesn't anyone ask if they can help? Asking and observing.
With my mom going through chemo, my "assistant" may be on hold at various points. So therefore, the house seemed to be falling apart. I would come home exhausted and just look at our disastrous living room--yuck! Kids stuff everywhere. And I needed my clothes moved to transition seasons. Who to ask to help? My mom was able to come yesterday and so the problem got delayed.
But why is it so hard to ask for help? But then why is it so hard to oberve that people need help?
So apparently we each go through this thought process in terms of asking for help. Who should I ask? Am I bothering themz? Is this going to work if I do ask? Will thy think I'm a slacker? Well, what the heck--why doesn't anyone notice I'm struggling? Why doesn't anyone ask if they can help? Asking and observing.
With my mom going through chemo, my "assistant" may be on hold at various points. So therefore, the house seemed to be falling apart. I would come home exhausted and just look at our disastrous living room--yuck! Kids stuff everywhere. And I needed my clothes moved to transition seasons. Who to ask to help? My mom was able to come yesterday and so the problem got delayed.
But why is it so hard to ask for help? But then why is it so hard to oberve that people need help?
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Insensitivity and thanks
This past Monday I was sitting waiting for my daughter to finish dance class, when I was overhearing this woman talking, then with another guy, and oh, so hard to keep my mouth shut! She was talking about doing some craft fair, how next time she's going to use the "handicapped parking" (when are we going to call it "accessible parking???") because of all the steps. Then she went on--her knee hurts--maybe she should get a knee replacement, her rotator cuff hurts, and there was something else--blah, blah, blah. Then she went on--had gone to some stadium--this is where the guy seemed to chime in with agreement. She was about to leave and the cleaning people were coming in and they looked homeless. And the guy was in agreement with this.
Come on! So I was sitting there with my walker--you think nothing hurts for me? You think you have it so rough and then can pick on people who are out there, working hard. As I said in my last post, I've been listening! I think maybe people should be more thankful for what they DO have, and thankful to hard-working people who are cleaning up their mess. Maybe this lady should be thankful she CAN walk. She was probably the one who parked in the ONLY accessible spot last week, so I sat in my car during dance. Then the comment about the people--I am thankful there are people out there who work hard given they might have a difficult life.
This kind of goes with a company picnic I attended a few years ago--thank goodness I left that dept! There were 2 clicky people who saw a homeless guy and were sure they saw him urinating and were just "Can you believe that?" about the whole thing. And then someone else made a comment that he must have some kind of mental problem. Again, why rip on him instead of thinking of how you can maybe help him.
So in rapidly typing this brainstorm, I won't list all my complaints although the past week has been tough and filled with stress. I will say I'm thankful for my family, and for my wonderful 5 year old daughter who has her moments, but is a true blessing. I am thankful that I still work, so our family has money. I am thankful that we can live comfortably. I am thankful for friends and family. I am thankful for an awesome doc I have, so when times are tough, he gives me his direct work, home, and personal cell phone numbers. And I'm so very thankful for anyone who asks if I need help, even if I don't, because I know they care. I'm thankful for those who offer and give help when I am struggling. And I am thankful for Willy, from some posts back, because I know he prays for me and keeps me in his prayers, and doesn't forget about me. I hope he is doing well.
Faith, love, peace, and hope. All very important.
Come on! So I was sitting there with my walker--you think nothing hurts for me? You think you have it so rough and then can pick on people who are out there, working hard. As I said in my last post, I've been listening! I think maybe people should be more thankful for what they DO have, and thankful to hard-working people who are cleaning up their mess. Maybe this lady should be thankful she CAN walk. She was probably the one who parked in the ONLY accessible spot last week, so I sat in my car during dance. Then the comment about the people--I am thankful there are people out there who work hard given they might have a difficult life.
This kind of goes with a company picnic I attended a few years ago--thank goodness I left that dept! There were 2 clicky people who saw a homeless guy and were sure they saw him urinating and were just "Can you believe that?" about the whole thing. And then someone else made a comment that he must have some kind of mental problem. Again, why rip on him instead of thinking of how you can maybe help him.
So in rapidly typing this brainstorm, I won't list all my complaints although the past week has been tough and filled with stress. I will say I'm thankful for my family, and for my wonderful 5 year old daughter who has her moments, but is a true blessing. I am thankful that I still work, so our family has money. I am thankful that we can live comfortably. I am thankful for friends and family. I am thankful for an awesome doc I have, so when times are tough, he gives me his direct work, home, and personal cell phone numbers. And I'm so very thankful for anyone who asks if I need help, even if I don't, because I know they care. I'm thankful for those who offer and give help when I am struggling. And I am thankful for Willy, from some posts back, because I know he prays for me and keeps me in his prayers, and doesn't forget about me. I hope he is doing well.
Faith, love, peace, and hope. All very important.
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