Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Joining the Movement

"Join the Movement" is the trademark of the National MS Society. We all move in different ways, and by different means. We value any movement, and we hope that we keep being able to move, or that the ability to move, in whatever way, may somehow improve.

I've had this improvement in movement which I've never had since my MS started about 21 years ago. But yet, life goes on. MS is still MS - heat still really affects me, and stress really affects me as well. Ampyra has helped with so much, but it hasn't helped with heat tolerance. And though it has helped when faced with stress, everyone has their limits, and stress will still impact MS.

With stress, I've noticed I'm exhausted - not in the physical sense, so it's hard to explain, but it's a different type of exhaustion. I may drink more coffee to ward it off. Yesterday was spasm day - my legs jumped like they wanted to walk, which hurts and is annoying in a strange way. But today I actually took a nap! Yesterday, it seemed that within 15 minutes of sitting, my legs would spasm and I would have to get up. Today my legs ache - this dull ache - like when one has the flu, but just in my legs. I can still move. I'm still in this movement, still maintaining the same movement.

During these times, I've spent some time looking up, trying to ask God something, but I'm not sure what I'm asking. And so most of the time, I just look up. And there is a presence that will pull me through - I'm just not sure how. Times right now are hard for many people, in different ways, and we'll all be pulled through these times.

So I continue to move; I've joined the movement so I won't give up moving, even if it has to be through some spasms and pain. It's still the same movement - improving. There's just a "silent" component I'm battling. I think the "silent" components are most difficult in terms of people knowing, understanding, etc.

And when I spend the time to look up, I think God knows I should take some time in quiet, away from the chaos, to rest. I think, I hope, that taking the time out, allowing rest, will bring continued movement, but more importantly,


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