Thursday, October 14, 2010

October 14

"Looks like you must have had a virus, but everything looks ok, so it must have gone away."

The 4 MRIs of my brain were all normal.

Maybe it's in my head. But HOW can this be in my head?

I run, I lean, I start to fall.

Today - October 14 - the day my college running coach made a tape of me running, with the normal start to it, then me starting to lean.

Look docs - look what happens - she starts to bend over.

"Beth, you need to be prepared for not running competitively again."
What?!! But he was right - my college doc - the only one who had it right from the start... the only one who told me what was happening, because he knew.

"It can't be MS - no brain lesions, other symptoms are normal."

Tests, tests, tests.

And I remember October 14 - I think then I sensed it wasn't in my head.

So for fun, because it's about right, let's designate the cat's birthday as October 14, so we can smile. We can laugh until our stomachs hurt and we can't stop laughing.

Decorate the house. Bake a cake. Give special tuna to the cat.

In silence, pause to remember this day. "Benson Bowl." Kenyon College. 1992. 3 long years to diagnosis. Tough years, far from home, but filled with support. That's Kenyon.

Being held. Child of God.



Rosemary said...

Hi Beth, I know MS is difficult to confirm. The symptoms mimic other diseases. Thirty years ago they did a spinal tap and MRI and said I had a benign form of MS. A few years ago when my walking was deteriorating they did a spinal MRI and brain MRI. No new lesions on the brain but the spinal MRI showed shrinkage of the spine column. I hope one day they will have a simple blood test so others won't have to go through the doubt and frustration of not knowing what the heck our bodies are dealing with or even better that MS is obsolete. Amen!

ms'er faith said...

but the best is having the support i did. these days it's easier to diagnose but i still don't have any brain lesions, and many lesions in my spine along with swelling are gone. i just have 1 area of lesions - near my armpit. i was a really tough case for these days, i think.