"Looks like you must have had a virus, but everything looks ok, so it must have gone away."
The 4 MRIs of my brain were all normal.
Maybe it's in my head. But HOW can this be in my head?
I run, I lean, I start to fall.
Today - October 14 - the day my college running coach made a tape of me running, with the normal start to it, then me starting to lean.
Look docs - look what happens - she starts to bend over.
"Beth, you need to be prepared for not running competitively again."
What?!! But he was right - my college doc - the only one who had it right from the start... the only one who told me what was happening, because he knew.
"It can't be MS - no brain lesions, other symptoms are normal."
Tests, tests, tests.
And I remember October 14 - I think then I sensed it wasn't in my head.
So for fun, because it's about right, let's designate the cat's birthday as October 14, so we can smile. We can laugh until our stomachs hurt and we can't stop laughing.
Decorate the house. Bake a cake. Give special tuna to the cat.
In silence, pause to remember this day. "Benson Bowl." Kenyon College. 1992. 3 long years to diagnosis. Tough years, far from home, but filled with support. That's Kenyon.
Being held. Child of God.