Thursday, July 22, 2010

Flipping things

Children with disabilities - somewhat often heard.

Parents with disabilities - seems a bit rare - can be isolating.

Children of parents with disabilities...

I imagine many parents struggle with similar issues as kids grow up. Kids get angry; kids do not do what they're told, kids don't want to do homework or chores... and the kids may be "angels" out in the world.

I have one of those "angels" out in the world. "She's such a good kid... she's so smart; she's so helpful; she's (fill in the blank)..."

She can be like that at home but many times, no. The "angel" can get into the car and transform herself. Chores or general helping become because mommy needs help, even when told other kids do the same things and their parents don't need help. Setting the kitchen table seems pretty standard - no.

Helping get "Nemo" out of the car is so neat when others are there. When others aren't there, it has become an exercise of exasperation.

Many people say she will grow up with more empathy toward people and there is literature to support this. But in the meantime, we will struggle a bit.

God with each of us - perhaps we will draw more together as we sometimes do. I'm the one she comes to when she's upset and needs someone to listen; I'm also the one who receives her anger, often directed at my legs and me being slow. I'm the one she comes to with a secret, with an idea, with something she did wrong and regrets. I'm the one she trusts completely. I'm the same one who receives her frustrations with whatever, somehow turned into my fault because of disability.

I hope the "angel" decides to come home with me on a more regular basis, soon.


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