I shouldn't write how I really feel late at night, but oh well.
People want to help. That is a good thing. But sometimes, I have to be honest, it can be annoying.
There's someone who wants to help me and keeps trying (oh no, they're thinking like my "come back tomorrow post!"). But they have THEIR ideas of how I should be helped and what is best for me. They keep pushing these ideas. I have even said (in different words), "I think what I am doing makes you much more uncomfortable than me." "Yes," they admit. But then back to their agenda of "but, but, but, ... you should do...... , you do better with the wheelchair").
I have a walker. I also have a wheelchair. I also have the walls of my house, covered with fingerprints. I have trouble walking. I also have severe leg cramps. If I don't walk during the day, my legs will cramp all night and I won't get any sleep. So I walk and often call it "Walking the Beth." Besides that, as uncomfortable as it may make others feel, I like to walk. I love to stand and stretch my legs. It feels great! So I stand and walk.
I cling to hope that something will come along to make walking easier, faster, something. It seems that something is on the horizon--it's exciting. And if I had given up my choice to walk, that possibility would be more difficult.
So I walk. So others feel uncomfortable. So some voice that they think I should not walk. So I feel like telling them to shut up, if I'm being really honest. People push me on my walker when I'm tired. But I still get to stand more and it feels great. People don't seem to understand that.
So the prayer is, God, could you help some people who have agendas for me perhaps focus more on themselves, even though they are trying to help? What would help is if they would let me choose. My life, my choice, God's support.