Alone

Closing this tough week--need to write this to help move on...
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"When the mountain touches the valley, all the clouds are taught to fly,
as our souls will leave this land, most peacefully.
Though our minds be filled with questions..."

She died alone. She went to the bathroom, had a massive heart attack, and died. Alone.

I knew her, but not well. She attended a disability training I did. She answered a couple emails of mine. She was swamped, so the answers were brief, because she didn't have time.

There were tears this week at her unexpected death. And there were observations. She was only 57. She was large. She had nausea problems since June and hadn't seen a doctor. It went quickly because it was a massive heart attack.

She was alone.

That bothers me. What else bothers me can be viewed in many ways. She needed to take better care of herself. She needed to see a doctor. She was working too hard to do these things. Society asks a lot of us, particularly during this recession. We are told we are not a healthy nation. But we are pressured to work hard, harder, harder. This pressure means that we may not take care of ourselves, and we may not pressure others to take care of themselves.

She was alone. It seems she was alone in many ways. I hope she is truly at peace now.

"... in our hearts we'll understand... when the river meets the sea."

God help my heart to understand this.