The day started as a rough one. I had been missing my Paxil for 2 days and found it this morning, took it, and wondered why taking steroids made me reliant on this pill to feel like myself. My 4 year old daughter didn't like any of her clothes, and I didn't have the energy for that. I got to work and all the accessible spots, even the one with my name on it, were taken, so I parked so far away. I was feeling done before the workday began, and found myself in the bathroom at work, back to crying since I missed my medicine for 2 days, wondering how I was going to make it through the day of meetings, the responsibility, the showing the new person what to do, the no time for myself. I wanted to leave then and go somewhere and be by myself. Instead, I did stay. I made it through the workday. I was a good actress again.
I then went to a lecture on new MS medications. I sat through all the discussion which included the fact that doctors shouldn't have to discuss how a patient will pay for a medicine, even when the patient is insured, and then some patients can't afford these therapies that can help them.
Afterward I went to ask the dr my question which is on the possible reaction to Tysabri and if the reaction is treatable. And yes the reaction is treatable! The dr sat, listened to me, really listened, and told me the answer, and gave me hope.
Next step: dr appt, Jan 22.
Thank you God, for getting me through this day. Thank you for letting this hope I heard today guide me. Please make tomorrow easier.