Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Hope brought back Beth

It has been 2 years since the first Wed Advent service when I realized it was time to ask for help. It was the first time I got help--at church a presence reached out and just held me there. And things weren't getting better--they were worse. I had been on steroids for an MS attack and the mix of that with everything else caused a severe depression.

Thoughts I remember:
- crying all the way to work, all the way home, and any timee I was alone
- hiding this from everyone
- wondering when I would feel like myself again
- calling my brother and asking him when I might get better again
- feeling that each day was so long and wondering how I would get through each and every day.
- starting medicine, going home, sitting in my garage and wondering whether to end everything and then deciding to see if the new meds might start working in a few days
- blankly staring at a lot

Going to church worked, the new medicine worked, I realized that so many people cared so much for me once I told them what was happening. There was hope.

God--seeing me through yet another thing, holding me ... thanks be to God.

And we enter another Advent season where I am myself again, life is not perfect, but I am happy to be me.


Clare said...

God id great, and His works are perfect.
Its good to look back and reflect.

Lisa said...

In 2006, Laura Lawes was diagnosed with Multiple Scelrosis and given a life expectancy of one year. Three years later, she was not only living strong, but she gave birth to her first son. It was called "a miracle birth". These miracles are possible today, because of the work organizations, such as yourself, have done. Here, at (a website dedicated to disease preventions and treatments) we are inspired by stories such as this, and would like to join you in fighting this cause. If you could, please list us as a resource or host our social book mark button, it would be much appreciated. Lets create more of these miracles; together.If you want more information on that please email me back with the subject line as your URL.