Saturday, September 4, 2010

Trust

This thing ... trust ... has me perplexed.

People have come to know my name somehow as a person to call if someone needs help with a disability question. They trust I will know or point them to someone who can help.

I tend to trust people.

I thought I could trust people more.

This week on the news, I heard of another person speaking against the ADA. He had to fix his small business' bathroom for $5k due to the ADA and we was therefore bitter to people in wheelchairs. I'd gladly exchange my mobility problems for his $5k problem. So then, I am enlightened that not everyone is supportive of the ADA.

I tend to trust people.

I thought I could trust people more.

I do trust my rehab doctor who has followed me from when I first got my leg brace, who asked if I was ok and genuinely meant this, who understands the emotions behind needing another accommodation. He got me through the process to get on this new medication, Ampyra, and although it's not visible to many, Ampyra has improved my life and given me much happiness. He understands my drive, that I won't give up, and he supports that. AND, we get to theorize about Lance Armstrong - bonus! :)

I tend to trust people.

I thought I could trust people more.

While I am happy on this new medicine, inventing a new "rehab" program to see how far it will take me, it seems other things are thrown my way.

I am led to think
What?
Who?
Could this be true?
Why?

I thought we had come so far in terms of civil rights for people with disabilities. I want to keep believing we have made progress.

But I am told things, in confidence, that makes me question this. It really hits home when my name is attached to something. And then I hear the news.

This is coded so the few people who read it may not understand, but I will be able to look back at this post if there's any type of outcome.

I am questioning who I can trust.
I am questioning why people say things that are not true.
I am questioning who is telling the truth.

And I wonder...
Is it to hurt me?
Is it to hurt someone else?
Who is going to gain from not telling the truth?
What happened to make this occur?

I tend to trust people.

I thought I could trust people more.

Now I can't.

Someone told me I really need to focus on the new medicine and the miracles it has brought to my life and not think about other parts.

But in the midst of this happiness, I am saddened to have to wonder about trust.

But I will move forward, and I WILL trust that God will carry me through questioning trust. I believe, by trusting in God, I can begin to let go. And what will be left, very soon, will be the happiness.

And with this, I will feel,

Peace

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Addressing Health Care for People with Disabilities

Posted 9/1/2010 on www.coloradohealthinsights.org (go there to see the "real" blog). My thoughts on health care reform and disability...

Bio: Beth Newsom is a project coordinator at Kaiser Permanente. She co-chairs the organization’s People with Disabilities Association, is part of the leadership network for the Rocky Mountain ADA Center and regularly presents on disability issues. Beth is pursuing a master’s on public administration through the University of Colorado at Denver. This posting is her own and does not represent Kaiser Permanente’s positions, strategies or opinions.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
In 1990, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) became the first comprehensive civil rights legislation for people with disabilities. Although the ADA opened many doors for a now estimated 54 million Americans with disabilities, it did not address the many problems they regularly experience related to health care. The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA), signed into law on March 23, 2010, addresses many of those problems.

There are many viewpoints as to which elements are most important for people with disabilities. Here are five critical elements that affect people with disabilities in positive ways. More information is available at http://www.healthcare.gov/foryou/disabilities/index.html

•Denial and limitations of healthcare coverage. Starting late in 2010 for those under age 19, and by the year 2014 for everyone, health care plans cannot exclude anyone from coverage and cannot charge a higher premium due to a pre-existing condition, which includes disabilities. Between now and then, temporary “high-risk pools” will cover people who have been without insurance for at least six months, have a pre-existing condition or have been denied health care coverage, and are U.S. citizens or reside in the U.S. legally. The programs are run by individual states or by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

•Independent Living. To enable people with disabilities to live as independently as possible, the Community Living Assistance Services and Supports (CLASS) program will begin in October 2012. This voluntary insurance program will provide assistance to working people over age 18 who need help with daily activities.

•Accessible medical diagnostic equipment standards. These standards will assure access for people with disabilities. Examples of equipment include lower examination tables, weight scales, mammography equipment and more. Many of these standards will improve access for people who use wheelchairs.

•Cultural competency training. Many incentives will be available for training in the care of people with disabilities, targeted toward current and future providers.

•Health Disparities: Federally conducted or supported health care or public health program or activities will be required to collect data, including disability status. Such data will be used to compare health disparities and for required reports to Congress concerning disparities.

Friday, August 27, 2010

HOPE endures all things

"Beth, how about this? First you have to be able to stand, not leaning."

... (time elapses) ...

"But I do squats now. I couldn't do those a month ago. I can lift my left foot. I couldn't do that a month ago."

"Well, they probably look like this ... those aren't real squats."

-------------------------------

That wasn't why I was there. But that was the end of things, a horrible end. I left, alone.

--------------------------------
I put my wheelchair in the car. An African American woman walking by on her way to the bus asked if she could help. I asked her to close the trunk. (That's hard for my shoulder still) She did. For those few seconds, I didn't feel alone.

I got in the car and backed out as one of the 2 people from the office came out and got into her Lexus. It's interesting. The person going to the bus helps. The person with the Lexus (not to generalize all people who own a Lexus) didn't think to ask, when I left, if I was ok.

-----------------------
I wasn't ok. The appointment had been delayed. I got stuck in traffic. It was 90+ degrees outside. The AC inside the building wasn't quite going yet, so it was about 85 degrees. Things weren't looking good. I simply can't take heat. Combine heat and stress? Recipe for disaster.

Could I stand? No. Could I do squats? No.

But at home I can. And the squats - I do them correctly.

The 2 people might as well have laughed out loud. I was wasting their time.

--------------------------
I drove home. I cried. I didn't know why. I picked up my daughter. I was really late. I wanted to crawl in a hole somewhere and be alone. But life continues - dinner, homework, piano, bedtime, late work to finish a writing. No hole. No time to think.

------------------------
Today I thought more... what happened?

In one minute, hope was taken. The potential of CAN was replaced by CAN'T. Looking back at life, I've been told CAN'T too many times, but I've turned CAN'T into CAN. And I think hope can help with that.

------------------------
It may be offensive, but flip some things:

1 Corinthians 13 (flipped)

13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not HOPE, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not HOPE, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, [1] but have not HOPE, I gain nothing.

4 HOPE is patient and kind; HOPE does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [2] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 HOPE bears all things, believes all things, (loves) all things, endures all things.

8 HOPE never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three...

And the passage says love is the greatest of the three. But as I go through life, I cannot continue without HOPE. So I'll go with faith, HOPE, and love being equally important. You need all three. I'm sure I'm missing something, but that's ok.

And I'll see where HOPE takes me. I think it keeps me going.

Peace.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The unseen

Invisible God, we pray for all of humanity that you so wondrously created. Today we pray especially for those people in our lives and communities whom we don't see - those who are sick and shut in, those who we pass by and choose not to see, those who we don't even realize are missing from our sight. Bless them Lord. Remind them that they are precious in your sight, and that you see them even when we don't. Amen.
Courtesy of Sojourner's "Verse and Voice" 8/25/10

So many different ways to think about it. Lately, it seems like most of my friends with disabilities are having or have had more trouble. I suppose it can go with the "disability" territory. So to me... the unseen by me or others...

- the friend who communicates with her eyes from Texas
- the person who felt shut in after surgery and found it necessary to "escape" the situation
- the many people who are not seen because of disability
- the same people who are not seen and many times not noticed
- the people I don't see for whatever reason
- the friends who will be going to the hospital to help pain associated with their disability where the disability is unseen and thus, often not believed
- so many others outside of strictly disability

They are all precious and God is with them through their journeys.

Peace.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Cycle of Hope

"...suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character,
and character produces hope,
and hope does not disappoint us."
- Romans 5:3-5

My favorite passage from the Bible, and so begins Tricia Downing's new book, Cycle of Hope, arranged according to that passage, and given to me by a good friend. Tricia is an athlete - in reading what she wrote, I couldn't help but compare it to my journey - similarities and differences.

It's an account of her journey after being hit by a car and paralyzed from the chest down. In an instant, she loses what she loves, and as she leaves one hospital, she recalls, "Wait a minute. I am leaving the hospital. I am leaving the place where they put you back together again and make you well, but... I am NOT well. I am never going to be well again." Sounds a tiny bit like when I was diagnosed with MS, realized my dreams of competitive running were gone, and asked the doctor, "So, should I lie down here on the floor and die?"

She was hit by someone - someone caused this. What causes MS? Tricia's life changes in an instant. With MS, my life has been a series of gradual changes over 20 years. Tricia found she could be an athlete while at Craig Hospital. For me it took years before I heard of a program for people with disabilities and got involved again.

I love the "rawness" of Cycle of Hope. It spells real feelings - loss is not easy - relationships change or cease to exist - life is not the same - activities are not the same even when able to be done differently. There's not a sense of "Woo hoo - I can still swim." There is more a sense of, "this isn't the same." People explain that Tricia will still be able to do things - just differently. There is bitterness in being told this, although with time it is realized how much people were trying to help. But the "rawness" of it all is there - too often in stories like this loss is sugar-coated with some kind of "success."

In all of this, I thought of a comparison to my 20 years. 20 years of learning to do things differently. I have an "attack," and perhaps I have to learn how to open the trunk a bit differently because my balance doesn't completely return. A big difference is that I've had little training. I was told by a neurologist to get a power chair. I got a manual chair after talking to friends and knowing I was strong enough. And there it was - the wheelchair - no training on how to use it - enjoy! Hand controls - no guidance there - things have changed now, but I figured out hand controls by myself. So it's different - sudden versus gradual change. Perhaps there is more time to adjust with gradual change. But there is also the chance for people to insert comments about decline when I started to use a wheelchair, rather than being glad that I had the freedom to go further distances again.

Tricia aims to complete an Ironman competition. With MS, I was ecstatic to make it up Vail Pass via handcycle (injuring my shoulder in the process). So there are times of success - remaining an athlete, seeking to conquer things.

And to give continued hope, there is the statement, "life is not measured in hours and minutes, but in heart." That is so true.

We all continue to pursue things we want to conquer. This book shows how to do that - with all the raw hard parts of the journey that can get in the way.

Cycle of Hope, by Tricia Downing. Available at Tattered Cover stores in Colorado, or via amazon.com. Get a copy and read it.

Peace.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Inclusion

Via Facebook, I saw a video on inclusion, from all different perspectives. The end challenges viewers to answer "I know I'm included when...", share it, have others do the same, and then think what it means for me to be inclusive of others in a diverse community. Here's mine - it's from the standpoint of disability...

I know I'm included when...

- people talk to me.

- people invite me to come to things, even if they are not accessible. Where there's a will, there's a way.

- people ask my opinion and value it.

- I can be Beth and laugh.

More on this...

The environment can be everything. I went to my daughter's soccer practice yesterday. 91 degrees and Beth do not get along. I pushed myself across 2 1/2 fields and then a nice guy asked if I wanted help. YES, PLEASE! I then watched practiced and no one talked to me - there were groups of 2, but I felt alone (until my husband showed up!). I tried to talk to one guy but he had his earphones in so he didn't hear me. Very strange. I then hesitated to break into the other conversations. Perhaps I should randomly ask people "how do you know when you're included? :)

Today I noticed I was 20 minutes up the road and in a different setting, but everyone was talking to everyone. I was invited; I laughed; I was included.

It's mostly the norm - traveling these 20 minutes up the road to feel included. It's also very strange.

I wonder how other people would answer the same inclusion fill in the blank. Everyone can do it. And then we could all learn something.

Peace.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

"Special"

There are so many terms used to describe people with disabilities. Recently, some important person (I'm bad with names, so I forget who) said something to the effect of we will never truly be able to advance in the education of people with disabilities until we stop using the word special.

Special - not a word I like. It mostly stems from the government - special needs programs. There's the Special Olympics. Most of the times, special is used to describe people with developmental disabilities. That's fine - how do they feel about the term special? Perhaps it's ok with them.

Therapeutic recreation - just discovered this term! Then I discovered it's a common term. Problem - to me, therapy is not fun, so pairing it with recreation doesn't go well. Our Parks and Rec dept has a new therapeutic rec component. So I asked further. Oh - it's mainly for people with developmental disabilities. That's fantastic. So can you also start a handcycling club? But then, that's more like adaptive sports. And people with developmental disabilities want adaptive sports too.

Where things go - therapeutic rec info is on the page opposite the senior programs! It's not by the sports programs. That's interesting. Should there be a separate category - adaptive sports? No - because if I want to start my handcycling club, it's going to therapeutic rec. And I have to start it. That's too much right now since I'm barely cycling. I'll stick with the cycling groups I know.

Handicapped - toss it out - how long will this take?

ADA - Americans with Disabilities Act - that's how we get to people with disabilities and I am starting to see children with disabilities instead of special needs kids. If you think about it, it must be an interesting transition to go from special needs kid to person with a disability. Is there a ceremony?

Then in the same bulletin as therapeutic rec, I saw "ADA/special populatiosn." The following paragraph talked about people with disabilities. It's like the bulletin was trying in include every possible tterm. At least they didn't use the word handicapped.

Of course, people like to be called different things. There's also challenged, differently-abled, disAbility (capital A), and on and on. And then there's what symbol should be used for disability - a whole other subject!

But finally, and most importantly, there's a new generation. Andy Imparato (nationally recognized advocate who helped draft health care reform legislation, and I think I finally have his name right!) talked about this generation. My generation got in the door for employment - some are happy to be in the door; some of us want to advance and are going further with education. The new generation takes it a step further. Andy says the new generation has high EXPECTATIONS - they ASSUME being able to get in the door - they ASSUME moving past that. And to do that - some of the terminology should change, so people are people, and we have more positive labels for disability.

Times are changing. It's "challenging" to try to get some changes through - to get people to see that as a person who uses a wheelchair, I may still have high goals. But we're getting there. The new generation will take it even further - they're starting at a different place than where I started, which was fear of assumptions on disability. It seems to me they're starting with confidence. And with that, the voice of people with disabilities only gets stronger.