Monday, January 10, 2011

How we get to "hate"

I've been thinking about something and the best way to deal with it, or "let it go," is sometimes to write about it.

I was so proud to use my walker to go to an event recently. At this event, I've always been seated early, because it's in an older building which isn't exactly accessible. I knew "something" had happened in this that involved me, but wasn't sure what. Now I know.

"Are you going to seat her first, AGAIN?!!" a person I know asked out of my earshot. The person seating everyone said "I guarantee you that Beth would LOVE to be able to sit up in the leveled seating. But she can't."

Yes, Beth would love to have legs that worked, to wait in line to see which spots were left. Yes, I'd rather have that.

While I know things like this are said, and others like "you're so lucky to get close-up parking" or "I want to go to the amusement park with you so I don't have to wait in line," they're generally not meant to be mean natured. I assume this because they are said directly to me and the person saying them is usually joking.

I didn't expect it, but this hurt. Really? After the explanation the person still didn't "get it." So it ended, and everyone went away with the same opinions. So instead of learning to get along better, things remain as they are. And I wonder where we go from here, when education did nothing.

There will always be a small group or an individual that doesn't "get it." I wonder what their story is. I wonder why they feel the way they do.. is there something I don't "get."

But by this whole event, we are left, as I see it, with no one happy, except me for using my walker at the event rather than the wheelchair. Actually no one happy, really, is quite a number of people upset. People are mad. And in society, if we have this madness everywhere, it can lead to hate. Hopefully hate is just in extreme cases.

Then I head way off-track and think of driving - lots of mad drivers. That can lead to "road rage" which can be hate.

So can we move beyond this? Can we improve? We have to - hate is not a good thing. Somehow, people have to show a lot less hate. We have
to really demonstrate it. I think it's called forgiveness and love.



Rosemary said...

Oh my, I think that thoughtless comment would have torn my heart out. This summer when my husband and I went to a car club event I had a man say to me "Thank goodness my wife isn't the only one here with a cane, she hurt her back". I so wish you had asked the person seating you to please seat the person with the thoughtless comment first. I think it would have made them think of what a selfish comment that was. On my MS journey I must say I have found 99.9 percent of the people I encounter are helpful and gracious. They often ask me if I injured my leg and when I say I have MS most of them are interested in knowing more about that or they know someone with it. I use that opportunity to give out some MS info. I am so sorry you had to have that person be so shallow and I am sure the people who heard it felt the same way. Peace be with you my friend and remember, when you hurt, God hurts too. Gentle hugs, Rosemary

ms'er faith said...

It's ok - these things happen. It happens more often where I live. I believe by this, well as I said, it's how we get to hate - from all sides.