Glimpses

Lent.  Stop.  Look.  Listen. (from the sermon at church today)

In the midst of change, it's good to do this.  And what better time than during Lent.

Glimpses from the past week...

"Beth, as you know I am a physical therapist.  I just have to say that I have never seen a gait quite like yours." (I was smiling - this is an interesting observation by someone who doesn't know me).  "Did you have an accident?"  "No.  Guess again." (still smiling)  "Cerebral Palsy?"  "No.  You have to guess one more time before I tell you." (still smiling)  (look of being totally perplexed) "Were you born with it?"  "No...  I have MS."  "But...  you are so young."  "Yes, but I've had this for over 20 years."  "But you were young to get it."  (my thought: yup.  It's now over half my life.  It is what it is.  There's no choice.)

"I'm so glad you're here."

"He's really glad you're here.  He couldn't wait for you to get here."

(I'm excited to be there.  It feels like I spent a year looking, and in the end, I found something that seems perfect.)

Me: "Hi." (to someone who used to work with me, years ago, when he was a supervisor moving up quickly and I was getting to be well-known as a programmer/analyst)  "Hi Beth."  Hug. 

"Beth, you're coming back tomorrow, right?" (the person smiles)  Of course I am.

Now let's see.  At the old place we had a place I could walk and do loops.  Now there is a large open space, but I can make this work.  It's an out and back approach, with a kind of mini-loop in the middle of it.  This works for walking, but someone called what I do "laps," so I will go with that.  There is a place to walk.

(Inserting Ampyra commercial here)  There was a meeting at a place where I have been previously.  But this time, in walking into the meeting from the parking garage, I didn't get tired.  I didn't get tired going back to my car either. (Some people call my car a van, but I'm still in denial - I would rather drive a car)  Going to another meeting at a different location, I didn't get tired either.  I've been doing 20 minute walks without stopping whenever there's a day I can do that.  It's making a difference.

There's a whole lot more, but these are just glimpses, and this blog is about MS and faith, not so much on employment.  But a new job and MS interact, much as I would like to separate them, take this MS thing, and set it on a shelf somewhere.

Life is good.  This was a good past week.

God didn't get any anger from me this week.  Well, not totally true.  At first I wasn't walking enough which caused an evening of 3 hours of leg spasms where I tried to explain that I couldn't walk as much these past couple days, and could God perhaps cut me a break, given it was Ash Wednesday?  I promise, God, I will walk more, on Thur and Fri (ha - as if God sent the spasms - but in these moments/3 hours - I think I should be able to make some kind of deal).

Stop.  Look.  Listen.

I'm stopped.  I have looked.  I'm listening to a song my husband has on the radio - I don't like country music at all and he has country music on.  But this is a song I know and like - it's called "I Hope You Dance."

So I'll end this one with the lyrics.  It's about always looking for the amazing, never taking things for granted, looking for open doors where doors seem closed, never giving up, and always, of course, dancing.

Peace.

May You Dance:
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'
Don't let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance
I hope you dance